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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Collective Soul Play Casino Just to Make their Fans Feel Old

April 19, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB 90s rockers Collective Soul will be playing Club Regent Casino in Winnipeg this summer in an attempt to make all their fans feel “really freakin’ old.” “Hey, honey, did you see Collective Soul […]

Unger Suspicion

New Olympic-size Swimming Pool Opens in Winnipeg

April 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A regulation Olympic-size swimming pool, complete with diving board, and a 24/7 on-duty lifeguard has opened up in the middle of a busy street in Winnipeg this week. “We’re really excited about this […]

Unger Suspicion

Lineup for Women’s Washroom Stretches 10 Miles

April 12, 2023 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The lineup for the women’s washroom after church this Sunday stretched more than 10 miles south and caused a traffic jam on Macleod Trail in Calgary. “Diewel, that’s a long line,” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Destitute’ Galen Weston to Subsist Entirely on ‘No Name Brand’ Products

April 8, 2023 Andrew

BRAMPTON, ON Left with just barely enough income to survive in today’s economy, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston has been forced to try his own No Name Brand products for the very first time. “Yikes. I […]

Unger Suspicion

Amish Man Can’t Figure Out Why He Got This ‘Carbon Tax Relief’ Cheque

April 3, 2023 Andrew

VITA, MB Mr. Schwartzenbeilersnider of over near Vita was completely baffled this week when he stopped at the post office in town and found something called a ‘Carbon Tax Relief Fund’ cheque from the Manitoba […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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