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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks

May 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]

Unger Suspicion

Ford to Stop Producing Mennonite Buggies

April 27, 2018 Andrew

DEARBORN, MI There is shocking news out of Michigan today as Ford Motor Company CEO Jim Hackett announced that the company would cease production of Mennonite and Amish buggies, other than the Mustang, by the […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Converts to Hinduism Five Minutes into Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown DVD

April 26, 2018 Andrew

BOISSEVAIN, MB Yogaphobia has invaded a small Manitoba town after Mrs. Martens, 42, longtime women’s ministry co-ordinator at the local Mennonite church, declared she was “done with the faith” and decided to dedicate her life […]

Unger Games

American Hockey Expert Makes His Picks for NHL Playoffs

April 25, 2018 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY America’s foremost hockey expert has made his prognostication for the 2018 NHL playoffs. After a meticulous five minute Google search where he learned the entirety of his hockey knowledge, the American analyst […]

Unger Suspicion

Royal Couple Name Newborn Baby “Prince Corny”

April 24, 2018 Andrew

LONDON, UK Well, the secret is out! William and Kate’s newborn baby boy, and fifth in line to the British crown, has been named “Prince Corny” after William’s distant cousin Corny Bueckert of Rosengart. Weighing […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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