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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Has Suspenders Confiscated at Quebec Border

October 15, 2018 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Johan Brubacher hitched up the wagon this week, eager to take his family to Montreal, a city renowned for Mennonite specialties like poutine and craft beer. However, as soon as the buggy crossed […]

Unger Suspicion

Henderson, Nebraska Officially Declared “The Middle of Nowhere”

October 7, 2018 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE After exploring small isolated towns across the globe, the United Nations has officially declared a small Mennonite town in eastern Nebraska as “the Middle of Nowhere.” Henderson, Nebraska, population 991, beat out Dalmeny, […]

Unger Suspicion

Paul McCartney Shows Up at Mennonite Wedding

October 2, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB The Wiebe and Dueck families of Blumenhof were excited, and a little baffled, after Sir Paul McCartney cycled onto the property this weekend. “There we were chowing down on Mrs. Wiebe’s dills to […]

Unger Suspicion

Tim Allen to Star in New Show ‘Last Mennonite Standing’

September 27, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA After the on-again off-again relationship with broadcaster ABC, Tim Allen, born Tim Dick, has decided to take his talents elsewhere with a new sitcom called “Last Mennonite Standing.” In the new show Allen […]

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main to be Accessed Exclusively by Blizzards and Ice Storms

September 26, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The votes are in and Winnipeg has decided overwhelmingly to restrict access to its most famous intersection to anything other than fierce winds, massive blizzards, devastating ice storms and maybe a tornado or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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