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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Doug Ford Vows to Downsize Mennonite Elder Boards

September 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Ontario Premier Doug Ford says he plans in invoke the “notwithstanding clause” to defend his efforts to reduce the number of elders on local Mennonite church boards. “The elder boards in the Kitchener-Waterloo […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg’s Garbage Hill to Be Returned to its Former Glory

September 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg’s most famous former landfill, Garage Hill, will be returned to its former glory later this month after the landmark received a renewed surge in interest as of late. “It’s time we make […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Survives Three Days and Three Nights in the Belly of a Red River Catfish

September 9, 2018 Andrew

LOCKPORT, MB Local man Jonah Neufeld, 35, of West Kildonan was out fishing at Lockport with his buddies Darrel Froese and Joel Peters this past weekend, when he was suddenly pulled into the Red River […]

Unger Suspicion

New Improved Horse Gets Up to 60 Miles Per Carrot

September 7, 2018 Andrew

HESSTON, KS The folks at Hershberger Horses and More have been working hard over the past few centuries to improve carrot-efficiency in local horses and the results have finally paid off. With regular maintenance, their […]

Unger Suspicion

Like and Share if You Think People Should Stop Indicating their Agreement by Liking and Sharing

September 5, 2018 Andrew

Friends, Mennonites, countrymen, lend me your ears! For too long we’ve been told that the entirety of our self-expression is tied to our willingness to like and/or share stupid memes on Facebook. We are told […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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