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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main Barricades to be Moved to Main and Brandt

October 24, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems that Steinbach has taken a cue from it’s larger neighbour to the north and has decided to barricade Main and Brandt and force pedestrians to cross the intersection through poorly-lit pathways […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Pays Off Entire Federal Debt One Day After Marijuana Legalization

October 18, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Less than 24 hours after cannabis became legal in Canada, the federal government announced they had made so much money in tax revenue from the sale of legal weed that they were able […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Has Suspenders Confiscated at Quebec Border

October 15, 2018 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Johan Brubacher hitched up the wagon this week, eager to take his family to Montreal, a city renowned for Mennonite specialties like poutine and craft beer. However, as soon as the buggy crossed […]

Unger Suspicion

Henderson, Nebraska Officially Declared “The Middle of Nowhere”

October 7, 2018 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE After exploring small isolated towns across the globe, the United Nations has officially declared a small Mennonite town in eastern Nebraska as “the Middle of Nowhere.” Henderson, Nebraska, population 991, beat out Dalmeny, […]

Unger Suspicion

Paul McCartney Shows Up at Mennonite Wedding

October 2, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB The Wiebe and Dueck families of Blumenhof were excited, and a little baffled, after Sir Paul McCartney cycled onto the property this weekend. “There we were chowing down on Mrs. Wiebe’s dills to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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