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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mountain Lake Residents Still Looking for that “Mountain”

July 22, 2021 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Residents of the flattest town in USA have been searching all over town for centuries trying to locate the mountain that gave the town it’s name. “Well, there’s a bit of a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Graduated Licensing Program Adds New ‘Winkler Driver’ Stage Below ‘Learner’

July 21, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Pembina Valley Department of Motor Vehicles has added a new stage to their four stage graduated license called the “Winkler Driver” stage, which is just before Learner stage. “We implemented the graduated […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Marriage Counselor Advises Cousins to Stay Together

July 17, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mr. and Mrs. Wiebe have been on the rocks for quite some time and have finally decided to seek cousin counselling. Thankfully, it looks like the relationship can be saved, thanks to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Karen Accidentally Wears Mask Up Over Her Nose

July 16, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A local Karen had full intentions of making life as difficult as possible for all the minimum wage workers of Altona, when she accidentally walked into the Co-op this afternoon with her mask […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Sprays WD-40 on His Achey Elbow

July 15, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mr. Peter Stobbe of La Crete had tried just about everything the trajchtmoaka prescribed, but nothing, just nothing, would solve that chronic ache in his elbow until he tried a spritz of […]

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