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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Keeps Reusing the Same Poppy He Bought 30 Years Ago

November 7, 2021 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Thanks to an ingenious pinning technique by his wife Susie, Mr. Harms of Black Creek has managed to re-wear the same poppy he purchased back in the late 1980s. “Ahh, it’s November […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Claims Using Turn Signal is a “Violation of Privacy”

November 6, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Wilmer Peters, 68, has been driving around Calgary for decades without ever using his turn signal, which he claims is a violation of his privacy. “I don’t need people looking over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reads Full Daily Bonnet Article After Years of Just Reading the Headlines

November 4, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Peter Bartsch of Leamington, who has spent the last five years reading The Daily Bonnet with his morning pripps, accidentally clicked on a post today and was shocked to discover there was an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Shocks Relatives by Shooting with Middle Finger

November 3, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Mr. Dueck had all the frintschoft in a tizzy this past week after he sunk twenty after twenty with his middle finger. “I always knips better with the middle one,” said Mr. Dueck. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Most Inappropriate Mennonite Couples

November 1, 2021 Andrew

Although I much preferred David Letterman, the one segment I watched on Jay Leno’s show was when he read funny headlines from real newspapers. Often they were humorous marriage pairings. I came very close on […]

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