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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

From Knackzoat to Plumi Moos: Five Amazing New Gifts in MCC’s Annual Christmas Giving Guide

November 15, 2021 Andrew

Christmas is a time of giving and generosity. Ever year at Christmas, the MCC offers folks the chance to choose items to donate from their gift giving guide. In addition to old favourites like wells, mosquito […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Puts on His Winter Tires

November 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mr. Kliewer of Leamington is always the last one in town to put on his winter tires, usually waiting until there’s at least three feet of snow at minimum. “Mennonites don’t need any […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Using Genealogy Website to Cheat at Mennonite Game

November 12, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Timmy Plett, 34, of Landmark has been arrested by local RCMP this week after he was caught logging onto Mennonite genealogy website GRanDMA Online in an attempt to cheat at the Mennonite Game. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Woman Experiences Embarrassing Bout of Garden Envy

November 10, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After a visit to Butchart Gardens on Vancouver Island this week, Mrs. Klassen, 83, of Abbotsford experienced mysterious new feelings she’d never felt before in her life. “I can’t say for certain, but […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Keeps Reusing the Same Poppy He Bought 30 Years Ago

November 7, 2021 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Thanks to an ingenious pinning technique by his wife Susie, Mr. Harms of Black Creek has managed to re-wear the same poppy he purchased back in the late 1980s. “Ahh, it’s November […]

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