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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman All Out of Candy Already

October 31, 2022 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area woman Angie Neufeld, 38, was all out of candy at 5:30 PM this evening and has shut off her lights and gone to bed. “Sorry, kids, better try next door at the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Already Crafting His Snarky Rebuttal to Michael Zwaagstra’s Latest Column

October 28, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbach resident Mr. Unrau was enjoying a lovely afternoon at KR Barkman Park, paging through The Carillon, when he flipped to the opinion page to read Michael Zwaagstra’s take on the latest hot button issue. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Runs for Mayor of Vanapag

October 24, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Local man Glen Loeppky, 64, has just announced he is running for mayor of Vanapag and, if he can get everyone at the Portage Avenue Church to vote for him, believes he has […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Man Buys Fancy New Car to Drive on World’s Shittiest Roads

October 21, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Dave Peters parlayed 40-years of chicken catching money into a sweet new sports car this week, but quickly realized there wasn’t a single decent road in the entire city he could […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Transit Purchases New Fleet of Honda Civics

October 18, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area seniors are really excited that the City of Steinbach has finally approved the long-awaited public transit system. “We’ve contracted 20-year-olds in Honda Civics to pick up any grandmas they see and drive […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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