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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends All Day at Hardware Store Trying to Find the Wood Stretcher

August 25, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Abe Epp, Rosthern’s most respected schekjbenjel, spend more than 8 hours at the Home Depot there in Saskatoon trying to find the wood stretcher. “Diewel, I tried the lumber department and nothing. Then […]

The Daily Bonnet

Horse Shit Cleared from City Streets and Moved Online

August 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Once known as the City of Horses, you’re now more likely to see a pickup truck or minivan on the streets of Steinbach, Manitoba. This has left city employees with not as much […]

The Daily Bonnet

Federal Liberals Enlist the Amish to Address Housing Crisis

August 23, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Fresh from high level cabinet meetings, the federal Liberal party has come up with a brand new plan to address the nation’s housing crisis–hire the Amish. “I’m sure they can raise a few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Disproves Evolution by Carbon Dating “Welcome to Morden Sign”

August 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB It’s another day and another fossil for the residents of Morden, Manitoba, which has area farmer Corny Harder “really upset once” and extra-determined to disprove the “evolution from Abes.” “Right away I drove […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Can’t Decide Between Seeing ‘Barbie’ … or ‘Sound of Freedom’ for the Tenth Time

July 31, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Forget Oppenheimer, the real choice facing southern Manitobans these days is whether to dress in pink and go to the fun summer movie they actually want to see or to go yet again […]

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