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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Disproves Evolution by Carbon Dating “Welcome to Morden Sign”

August 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB It’s another day and another fossil for the residents of Morden, Manitoba, which has area farmer Corny Harder “really upset once” and extra-determined to disprove the “evolution from Abes.” “Right away I drove […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Can’t Decide Between Seeing ‘Barbie’ … or ‘Sound of Freedom’ for the Tenth Time

July 31, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Forget Oppenheimer, the real choice facing southern Manitobans these days is whether to dress in pink and go to the fun summer movie they actually want to see or to go yet again […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Barbenreimer’ Craze Strikes Rural Saskatchewan

July 23, 2023 Andrew

HAGUE, SK It seems that the Mennonite ban on attending movie theatres is over, as thousands of Mennos flocked to local cinemas this weekend to see either the new Barbie movie or the long-awaited docudrama […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hottest Day in History Has Mr. Friesen Considering a Name Change

July 8, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Days after scientists reported the hottest day in the earth’s history, area man Dick Friesen is considering changing his name to “more accurately reflect the current state of affairs.” “Diewel, it’s hot out,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

MrBeast Offers Contestants $606,000 to Live Like a Mennonite for One Week

June 27, 2023 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH In his most outrageous stunt yet, YouTuber MrBeast offered contestants more than $600,000 to whoever could live an authentic Mennonite life for a whole week. “We had applicants from all over and […]

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