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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Funeral Movie ‘The Burial’ Shocks Audiences with Sheer Lack of Pickles

October 18, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Producers of the highly-anticipated Mennonite funeral thriller The Burial have opted to stretch the truth a little and remove all references to pickles and/or raisin buns from the movie. “Oba, a movie about the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Completely ‘Full of Schmidt’

October 11, 2023 Andrew

NIPAWIN, SK Area man Abe Schmidt, 61, had drawn considerable attention as of late for his social media posts, which friends and family say are “completely full of Schmidt.” “The guy is not a reliable […]

The Daily Bonnet

Slow-Moving Mennonite Backs Up Traffic on the Yellowhead for Miles

October 9, 2023 Andrew

FOAM LAKE, SK Dave Epp was somewhere halfway between Saskatoon and Winnipeg this weekend, when he realized that for some strange reason there was a trail of cars behind him. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Pacifist Mennonite Woman Reluctant to Use Flyswatter

October 8, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It’s that time of year again. Flies. Everywhere. However, for area woman Erin Stobbe, 51, the little pests are something of a blessing. “I believe in non-violence,” said Stobbe. “Who am I to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Puts Up Halloween Decorations for Thanksgiving

October 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Lois Unger, 41, of Steinbach was mesmerized by the wide array of seasonal decorations at her local Shoppers Drug Mart this week and plastered her house with her holiday-themed purchases. “Ahhh, I just […]

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