Andrew Unger Comes Out as a Swiftie


After years of priding himself with his lack of knowledge about any other music than 1960s jazz, the tremendous success of a recent article about Taylor Swift has satirist Andrew Unger rethinking his priorities in life.

“Wow, one article about a woman in Abbotsford mortgaging her house to buy Taylor Swift tickets and I’m hooked,” said Unger. “It did a lot better than the Bruce Springsteen article, let me tell you.”

Unger plans to burn all his John Coltrane albums and replace them with copies of 1989 and (Editor’s note: Google name of Taylor Swift album and insert it here).

“There were thousands of comments on that one,” said Unger. “And as much as I’d prefer to listen to A Love Supreme, a man’s gotta eat.”

In order to gain credibility with this new audience, Unger has quickly formed strong opinions on the Anti-Hero music video and, umm, something about Travis Kelce. He’s, like, against that relationship. I mean, all for it. Yeah that’s it.

The new revelation came as no surprise to Unger’s readers.

“You know I’ve always suspected that Andrew Unger was a Swiftie,” said avid Unger Review reader Darren Klippenstein. “Funny … I always thought it was Jonathan Swift.”

(photo credit: Eva Rinaldi/CC and MaryLou Driedger

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