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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Devastated After Attempting Sunday Trip to Chick-fil-A and Hobby Lobby

September 15, 2023 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND The Bueckerts of Winkler had it all planned out. They’d cross the border in Emerson just after the morning service, stop for a quick bite at Chik-fil-A, before spending the rest of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba to be Renamed Mennotoba

August 27, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a 7-2 decision this past week, the Supreme Court of Manitoba has voted to change the name of the province to Mennotoba … in honour of the Friesens. “There are more Friesens […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends All Day at Hardware Store Trying to Find the Wood Stretcher

August 25, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Abe Epp, Rosthern’s most respected schekjbenjel, spend more than 8 hours at the Home Depot there in Saskatoon trying to find the wood stretcher. “Diewel, I tried the lumber department and nothing. Then […]

The Daily Bonnet

Horse Shit Cleared from City Streets and Moved Online

August 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Once known as the City of Horses, you’re now more likely to see a pickup truck or minivan on the streets of Steinbach, Manitoba. This has left city employees with not as much […]

The Daily Bonnet

Federal Liberals Enlist the Amish to Address Housing Crisis

August 23, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Fresh from high level cabinet meetings, the federal Liberal party has come up with a brand new plan to address the nation’s housing crisis–hire the Amish. “I’m sure they can raise a few […]

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