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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Your Free Mennonite Horoscope for Today

August 30, 2017 Andrew

IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY Oba, you are one lucky Mennonite. Be open to receiving whatever frozen mystery item Grandma Penner might pull out of the freezer and attempt to microwave for you. You will […]

The Daily Bonnet

Henderson Highway Permanently Closed to Motorized Vehicles

August 29, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Henderson Highway, in the heart of Winnipeg’s famed Anabaptist Quarter, is being permanently closed to motorized vehicular traffic this week after a request from concerned members of the Mennonite community. “We’re tired to having to […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Signs that Mennonite Man is Just Not that Into You

August 28, 2017 Andrew

Ladies are always looking to hook up with an eligible Mennonite man. There’s just something about the hands of a man who catches chickens for a living that’s simply irresistible to a lot of gals. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Mennonite Vacation Rentals Available Right Now on AirBnB

August 23, 2017 Andrew

Whether you’re a Mennonite in need of a getaway or an Englisher who wants, for some strange reason, to stay with a Mennonite, AirBnB lists plenty of exciting options. Here are the top 5 Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

Outrage in Steinbach After Streets Named After ‘Johnson’ and ‘Smith’

August 23, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A new housing development in Steinbach is taking the bold step of naming the streets after Englishers. The first two streets, which drew the ire of several Mennonites, are ‘Johnson Boulevard’ and ‘Smith Place.’ […]

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