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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Anabaptist Heroes to be Added to Mount Rushmore

August 27, 2018 Andrew

BLACK HILLS, SD Four new faces are set to be blasted into the rock at Mount Rushmore this fall. After a long consultation process, a committee has selected the names of Menno Simons, Conrad Grebel, Jakob […]

The Daily Bonnet

Residents Required to Display ‘Steinbach Driver’ Sign in Back Windshield

August 26, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Under a new local graduated licensing program, Steinbach drivers will now be required to display a sign in the back windshield of their vehicles as a warning to other drivers. Local officials say […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

August 24, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Rempels from over in Herschel drove into the city this week to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary in style by ordering the very cheapest items on the menu at Tony Roma’s. “Oba, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Heritage Village Offers Time Travel for a Lot Less than the Cost of a Delorean

August 21, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB If a flux-capacitor-equipped Delorean is a little out of your price range, the folks at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach offer a chance to go back to the 1870s for just a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Study: ‘Not All Mennonites Are Dicks’

August 13, 2018 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A new study from the University of Waterloo-Kitchener-Cambridge has revealed that, contrary to popular opinion, “not all Mennonites are Dicks.” “Far from it,” said study organizer Dr. Lehman. “In fact, if you include […]

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