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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mexican Mennonite Purchases Snowmobile, Prays for White Christmas

December 15, 2018 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO After his cousins Pieta and Johan extolled the virtues of a snowy white Christmas, Guillermo Krahn of Cuauhtemoc decided to purchase a snowmobile and have it shipped down to Mexico in anticipation of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

December 9, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB After extensive traffic studies on Highway 12 north of Steinbach this summer, the Manitoba Road Authority has decided to designate the left lane to be used exclusively by families driving excruciatingly slow and/or […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Attends His First Vanapag Jats Game

December 8, 2018 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Local man, Abraham Krahn of North Kildonan, was thrilled to get some free tickets to see his favourite hockey team the Vanapag Jats in action last night against the St. Louis Blues. “Its […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Forced to Wear Their Parkas Indoors So Dad Can Save on the Hydro Bill

December 5, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Doerksen family of Winkler have been wearing their long underwear a lot this winter, thanks to Mr. Doerksen’s insistence that “no one better touch that darn thermostat!” “They keep raising the hydro […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Desperately Search for Cheap Used Netflix Subscriptions at MCC Store

December 3, 2018 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Mennonites across Canada have been scouring the shelves at their local MCC thrift stores in search of used Netflix subscriptions after the streaming service jacked up the prices this week. “I heard Mrs. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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