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Unger the Influence

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Government Spends $4.5 Billion on Old Useless Crap From Mrs. Penner’s Garage Sale

June 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government announced Tuesday that it would be spending more than four billion dollars of taxpayer money on purchasing “whatever useless crap those Mennonites have for sale at their garage sales this […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pickle Juice Used to Preserve Vladimir Lenin’s Body

March 21, 2018 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA The body of Soviet dictator Vladimir Lenin has been preserved in a Moscow mausoleum since his death in 1924. While many have speculated as to the methods used to keep the body in […]

Unger Games

Canadian Olympians Forced to Pay Back Half Their Medals in Taxes

February 13, 2018 Andrew

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA Always on the lookout for new sources of revenue, the Canadian government has announced it will be taxing Olympic medals at the top income tax bracket of 48.7 percent. The medals will […]

The Daily Bonnet

Peace Talks in Winkler-Morden Move Toward ‘Two-State Solution’

February 2, 2018 Andrew

OCCUPIED MORDEN TERRITORY, MB After decades of tension between the neighbouring Pembina Valley communities, representatives from Morden and Winkler have sat down at the negotiating table in Walhalla, North Dakota with hopes of bringing lasting […]

Unger Conviction

Churches Demand All National Parks Be Turned Into Bible Camps

January 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Churches across Canada have been up in arms and are demanding that the federal government fund “all proselytizing efforts” with tax-payer’s money. An online petition sponsored by Life Site News has demanded that […]

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