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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finds Romance in the Sausage Aisle at Zehrs

July 29, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON When Miss Susannah Wenger went shopping this past Wednesday in Kitchener, she never thought she’d meet the love of her life in the sausage aisle. “There I was, perusing the wide variety of […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Woman Sells ‘Essential Mennonite Oils’

July 23, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENFELD, SK Local woman Mrs. Hiebert has launched a new alternative medicine program aimed at restoring Mennonites to health and vitality “through a specially designed program of concentrated hydrophobic essential Mennonite oils.” “Through extensive scientific […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Woman Totally Baffled by ‘Honour System’ in Kitchener

July 11, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mrs. Unrau of Winnipeg was visiting friends in southern Ontario who insisted the local butter tarts at City Café Bakery were even better than what she could get back home. “I must say, […]

Unger & Thirst

Muffins “Baked with Love” Still a Little Bland

July 9, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Despite the fact they had obviously been baked with a lot of love, a plate full of Grandma’s bran muffins at the family gathering on Sunday were really not that impressive. “I could […]

Unger & Thirst

Lutheran Man Joins Mennonite Church After Discovering Roll Kuchen

July 6, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Schmidt of Steinbach has been a life-long attendee at the local Lutheran Church. However, after discovering roll kuchen this week, he decided to abandon the faith of his childhood and join the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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