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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Finally Finds an IPA that’s Not Too Bitter for Him

August 24, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Garth Penner has been pressured by his buddies to drink something other than light lagers for years and has finally found an “IPA” suited to his tastes. “Got myself a Keith’s,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Medium Salsa Proves Far Too Spicy for Mennonite Man

August 23, 2021 Andrew

BRANDON, MB Local man Joel Wiebe of Rosenort was on his way to visit his cousins in Swift Current when he decided to stop by in Brandon for a bite of delicious Mexican food. Dazzled […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering

August 19, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Pankratz can count on a good solid six hours of sleep tonight after the family gathering that she’d been worrying about for months came and went without a single person starving to […]

Unger & Thirst

Pink Whitney Discovered in Mrs. Loewen’s Thermos

August 13, 2021 Andrew

HIMMELSDORF, MB Mrs. Loewen’s co-workers at the credit union in Himmelsdorf this week noted a mysterious pattern of behaviour after lunch that simply demanded an explanation. “She alway seems much happier after she’s had her […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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