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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Abbotsford or Chilliwack ‘White Spot’

September 22, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The Driedgers of Yarrow found themselves in quite the predicament this Sunday when they decided to venture down the highway for lunch and found far too many White Spots locations for them to […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta

September 20, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Cargo trains of farmer sausage have been loaded up in Winnipeg and are on their way to Edmonton this week after a massive sausage shortage struck the oil-rich province. “They always say Manitoba’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Celebrities Featured on New YouTube Series ‘Bland Ones’

September 19, 2021 Andrew

AKRON, PA After failing to convince any famous Mennos to be a guest on the popular show Hot Ones, a new YouTube series is aiming to be more fitting for the palate of Mennonite celebrities. […]

Unger & Thirst

O’Toole Offers Mennonites Half Off at Chicken Chef

September 11, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Following up an election promise of discounts at Swiss Chalet, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is now wooing Mennonite voters by promising a really good deal at Chicken Chef yet once. “Oba jo!” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Rush to Stock Up on ‘Reimermectin’

September 10, 2021 Andrew

PEADDSSTAUL, MB A new “miracle drug” called Reimermectin is flying off the shelves in southern Manitoba this week after rumours spread that it can cure all that ails you. “I’m not sure what’s in there, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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