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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key

December 14, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHASSELHOF, MB The local Unsafeway Store has had to put their entire supply of romaine lettuce under lock and key this week after a rash of thefts nearly brought the store to its knees. “Let’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Only 2 Days Left Until Christmas … According to Mennonite Woman’s Chocolate Advent Calendar

December 10, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Janessa Froese, 37, of Leamington is very excited that Christmas is only a couple days away … at least according to her advent calendar. “It’s been a long and delicious December,” said Froese, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Takes 14 Hours to Bake Cookies that will be Gone in 2 Minutes

December 6, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Erin Koop of Steinbach got up at 5 am this past Saturday to bake a batch of sugar cookies that were gone just seconds after she lay them out to cool. “Diewel! […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Regrets Ordering Taco Bell Right Before Church

December 2, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Jack Friesen had a real hankering for Taco Bell this past Sunday morning, but instantly regretted it the moment he sat down in church. “Yeah, well, it all tastes good going […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

November 29, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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