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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hasn’t Knacked Zoat All Year

January 3, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades as one of Winkler’s top zoat knackers, area man Art Harder, 71, is really proud of himself for resisting the urge to knack zoat all year. “Things were getting out of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Shocked that No One Starved at Recent Gathering

December 29, 2022 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Despite making enough food to feed the entire town of Black Creek, Mrs. Kroeker was utterly shocked that none of the Kroeker clan starved at the recent gathering. “There were 17 of […]

Unger & Thirst

Entire House Filled with Aroma of Farmer Sausage

December 23, 2022 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Joseph Kroeker was minding his own business doing the budget on the computer in the basement when he was stirred to his feet by the smell of farmer sausage wafting down the stairs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Argentina Runs Out of Yerba Mate Moments After World Cup Victory

December 18, 2022 Andrew

LA PAMPA COLONY, ARGENTINA After consuming more than 100 million kilos of yerba mate in just 90 minutes, the supply of green leafy tea in the World Cup champion nation of Argentina, is now completely […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key

December 14, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHASSELHOF, MB The local Unsafeway Store has had to put their entire supply of romaine lettuce under lock and key this week after a rash of thefts nearly brought the store to its knees. “Let’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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