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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Dime Bags of White Sugar

December 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona’s most notorious sugar dealer, 83-year-old Edith Braun, has been caught dealing “dime bags” of white sugar in the hallways of Southview Manor. “The street price of white sugar has soared this holiday […]

Unger & Thirst

New ‘Import Store’ to Sell Bland Canadian Food in Mexico

November 29, 2023 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO  Inspired by all the Mexican import stores that have peppered the Canadian prairies, local entrepreneur Lenny Wiens has decided to return the favour and “bring the flavourless wonders of Canada” to the Mennonite […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Buys Extra Advent Calendar to Count Down the Days Until the Start of Her Actual Advent Calendar

November 26, 2023 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local mom Kylie Neufeld, 37, is so excited for the chance to eat a little piece of chocolate each day this December that she has purchased an extra advent calendar which marks the […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandma Cookies Now Made from Freshly Harvested Grandmas

November 11, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB While modern technology has meant that Grandma Cookies are available year round, connoisseurs know that there’s nothing like a Grandma Cookie made from freshly harvested Grandmas. “We had a bumper crop of Grandmas […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Picks “Gross Onions” Off Her Burger while Devouring Her “Delicious Onion Rings”

October 29, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Coleen Loewen drew quite the crowd at her local A&W this afternoon as she picked off all the onions from her burger while simultaneously devouring a bag of delicious onion rings. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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