Mennonite Man Woos Potential Spouse by Eating Takis Fuego


Area man Kjnels Thiessen, 21, is attempting to woo the single women of Manitoba Colony by consuming a whole bag of Takis Fuego during faspa this Sunday.

“Oba, that Kjnels sure is handsome with his overalls and extra-spicy Takis,” said potential spouse Maria Neustadter. “If he can make it through a whole bag in one go and I think he’s the man for me.”

Kjnels has been training for weeks leading up to the event.

“At first I ate a few Takis Guacamole, then a full bag of Takis Azul,” said Thiessen. “I’ve been really working on my stamina and heat tolerance and now I think I’m finally ready to showcase my talents for the entire colony.”

Unbeknownst to Thiessen, however, the young women of Manitoba Colony have been secretly consuming Takis on the their own.

“I doubt he can out-eat Nita Enns,” said friend/cousin Agata. “Mennonite women can handle the heat better than anybody.”

Defeated and dejected, Kjnels Thiessen plans to travel to Winkler, Manitoba where his Taki-eating talents are much more likely to be appreciated.

(photo credit: Chris/CC)

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