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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Authorities Seize Mennonite Woman’s Dangerous Looking Pickle Spears

March 24, 2024 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Avid canner Tina Kroeker was held for questioning at the border this week after the discovery of a large collection of dangerous looking pickle spears. “They asked if I had any weapons,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Poutine Wins 5th Term with 88% of the Vote

March 22, 2024 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A box of delicious greasy poutine has won a whopping 88% of the popular vote this week, although some have doubts about the validity of the results. “I didn’t vote for poutine. My […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family for a Week on One Little Caesars Pizza

March 11, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, SK Area woman Tammy Dueck has perfected the art of making one Little Caesars pizza feed her growing family of 8 for an entire week. “I send one piece along with Dan for his […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is

March 6, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Millions of Canadians have lined up outside of McDonalds restaurants this winter for the return of a sandwich they’ve been told is not nearly as bad as they remember. “Yikes, I lined up […]

Unger & Thirst

Abandoned Pizza Hut Serves as Lasting Monument to Human Ingenuity and Indigestion

March 4, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Impossible, due to its distinctive shape, to repurpose for any other use, abandoned Pizza Hut buildings have cropped up in cities and towns across the continent, a living testament to the ingenuity and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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