KITCHENER, ON Tired of the notoriously unreliable English translations, local man John B. Kornelsen of Kitchener has been relearning German in order to read the Bible in its original script. “You can’t rely on these […]
DALLAS, OR On Ash Wednesday, Mennonites across the world cease their regular practice of abstaining from anything pleasurable and instead take up a wide variety of unhealthy habits. Local woman Patricia Voth, 65, of the small […]
LEAMINGTON, ON Local man Henry Harder has guaranteed himself a spot in Heaven after successfully attending those really boring Sunday evening church services for twenty years straight. “I’ve made it! I’ve finally made it!” shouted […]
STEINBACH, MB Fifteen members of the Loewen family and twenty-three Penners were hospitalized this past week after a brawl broke out at the local Mennonite church. The brawl seems to have been initiated after four […]
HEUBODEN, MB Once playfully referred to as the ‘Kleine Gemeinde‘ or ‘small church’, the EMC has grown to include 62 churches with over 7200 members. One such congregation in the tiny village of Heuboden has […]
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