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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend

May 21, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Andrew R. Penner has declared himself a prophet of God after he accurately predicted there would be heavy rain this Victoria Day long weekend. “See, look, I told you so,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Guest Gets Totally Lost on the Way to 100 Huntley Street

May 21, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Hosts of popular Christian television program 100 Huntley Street were sent into a panic this past Thursday as CCM recording artist Dan Belle didn’t show up on time for the taping. “I had […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Accepts the Lord in the Womb

May 20, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Representatives of the Guinness Book of Records were on hand to witness the birth of Samantha Lois Penner, the youngest ever religious convert in the history of the Christian church. “We knew this was […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Claps Along to Worship Song

May 14, 2017 Andrew

“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.” – W.B. Yeats WINKLER, MB The Winkler EBBM Church was sent into a tizzy this past Sunday after local woman Sarah Martens […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Smokers Furious After Church Implements ‘No Re-Entry’ Policy

May 9, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, a Winnipeg-area megachurch, has recently announced that they will no longer allow people to re-enter the building once they have left. “We’re sick and tired of people leaving for a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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