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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Baptizes Hundreds of Total Strangers at Local Waterslide

June 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Reverend Jim, eager to increase his baptism numbers for the year, baptized more than five hundred people without their knowledge, during a church event at the local waterpark. “They zipped pass me and […]

Unger Conviction

Streaker Disrupts Mennonite Church Service

June 6, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB The service at East Blumenhof Brethren was rudely interrupted by a “basically naked” young woman who walked in the door claiming she was “visiting for the first time.” Within minutes of her arrival, the […]

Unger Conviction

Local Worship Band Accidentally Performs Hymn

June 4, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The audience at a Calgary megachurch was left in shock after the worship band performed  ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’ during the Sunday morning worship set. “I’m not sure how this old thing […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Hands Out Fidget Spinners to Keep People Alert During Boring Sermon

June 4, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After receiving numerous complaints about the length and monotony of Pastor Johan’s sermons, the local MBB church had decided to hand out hundreds of fidget spinners to keep the people occupied at this morning’s service. […]

Unger Conviction

A Mennonite Guide to Earning Your Salvation

June 2, 2017 Andrew

New documents published by Conrad Grebel in the early 1500s have finally put to rest the age-old Mennonite question of how to go about earning your place in Heaven. While Calvinists believe that some people are […]

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