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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation

October 7, 2020 Andrew

NUMIDIA, PA Minister Miller of West Side Numidia Mennonite Church has been excommunicating an errant couple every week for the past three years and just this Sunday he realized that he was the only one […]

Unger Conviction

Thousands of Geese Congregate at the Pond by the MHV for Steinbach’s Largest Church Service

October 4, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With the pandemic restricting the size of human church services in the Steinbach area, it seems the local Canada goose population has decided to flaunt their ability to congregate uninhibited. “Not even the […]

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

Unger Conviction

Report: 97% of Mennonites Still Refer to ‘Mennonite Church’ as ‘General Conference’

September 25, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN The General Conference, I mean Mennonite Church, would like to clarify something for everyone. The denomination changed it’s name quite a while ago and wishes people would get it right already. “The General […]

Unger Conviction

Dusty Springfield Song Haunts Pastor’s Son His Whole Life

September 24, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN For Reverend Vogt’s son, Dylan, 31, of Mountain Lake, Minnesota there is one song he just cannot escape, and that is Dusty Springfield’s 1968 smash hit “Son of a Preacher Man.” “That […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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