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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

New Mennonite Parents Invite Friends Over for ‘Denomination Reveal Party’

September 20, 2020 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Thomas, 19, and Mary, 18, got married just seven months ago and have invited all the Fehrs and a few Friesens over for the “Faith Reveal Party” of their first child this Sunday […]

Unger Conviction

Epic Fail! MBer and GCer Make Feeble Attempt at Singing the Doxology Together

September 7, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The CMU semester seemed to be off to a good start as Breanna, an MBer, and Paul, a GCer, started dating after sitting six feet away from each other in their “Intro to […]

Unger Conviction

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

August 27, 2020 Andrew

TABER, AB Pastor Dave pulled up onto the lot this morning for his marriage counselling sessions with the Thiessens only to find that the entire lot was covered with mysterious black circles and the whole […]

Unger Conviction

Grandma Plett Discovers Bible iPhone App, Disrupts Service

August 26, 2020 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Grandma Plett, 81, of Linden Menno Manor, recently discovered a handy new Bible app on her iPhone. The app features large print and the ability to have Morgan Freeman read the Bible aloud […]

Unger Conviction

Hundreds of Mennonites Show Up at Church on Onewheels

August 15, 2020 Andrew

SOMMERFELD, MB Hundreds of Mennonites abandoned their pickup trucks and minivans and, instead, showed up at church this weekend on electric skateboards called Onewheels. “Oh, you know me,” said Mr. Plett, “I always keep up […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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