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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Releases Brand New List of Sins for 2022

March 8, 2022 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mennonites have been marking this day on their calendar for months – the day when their local church releases the new list of sins for the year. “The kids, especially, are really excited. […]

Unger Conviction

Man with Snowblower Finds Renewed Sense of Purpose and Meaning

February 26, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Abe Broesky, 53, recently experienced a renewed sense of spiritual purpose in his life all due to the fact he happens to own a snowblower. “Sometimes I think to myself, ‘Abe, […]

Unger Conviction

Winkler Area Church to Meet in Bouncy Castle

February 22, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Having outgrown the capacity of a nearby storage shed, a Winkler area church has decided to relocate the entire congregation to a bouncy castle they’ve inflated on the Kroeker yard. “Oh, look, a […]

Unger Conviction

Thousands of Catholics Forced to Become Anabaptists After Priest Says One Wrong Word

February 16, 2022 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Thousands of Roman Catholics who were incorrectly baptized by a local priest will have to be rebaptized pronto or risk eternal damnation. “For decades I said ‘we baptize you’ when I should have […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Waits All Service to Finally Hear “You May Be Seated”

February 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. and Mrs. Driedger were on their feet exactly at 10:01 AM when the worship leader asked everyone to “stand if you are able” and turn to Hymn 603 in their Voices Together […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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