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Disney Releases New Song: ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’

April 12, 2022 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Disney has just released a brand new children’s song called ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’ intended to appeal to Mennonite churches who’ve abandoned their traditional Anabaptist theology. “We know there’s a huge market […]

Unger Conviction

MBer Charges the Stage After GCer’s Mennonite Joke Goes Terribly Wrong

April 5, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The tri-annual MB-GC ecumenical service and plautz awards were going smoothly this Sunday until Mr. Goertzen got up on stage and took a cheap shot at the MBers in the audience. “What do […]

Unger Conviction

North Kildonan Gets its Own Area Code

March 22, 2022 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Manitoba is about to get its third area code. Starting next month, all residents of the Mennonite enclave of North Kildonan will be given the area code 606, “just to make it […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Baptized in Low German Forced to Do it Over Again in High German

March 14, 2022 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE A bunch of Friesens will have be rebaptized this week after it was discovered that Pastor John had been using Plautdietsch when he should have been using High German. “Everyone knows the Bible […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Releases Brand New List of Sins for 2022

March 8, 2022 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mennonites have been marking this day on their calendar for months – the day when their local church releases the new list of sins for the year. “The kids, especially, are really excited. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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