Bombers to Win Grey Cup Every Day Just So Portage and Main Can Stay Open to Pedestrians


The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have decided to do a great service to the community by winning the Grey Cup every afternoon around 4 pm just so that pedestrians will have access to Portage and Main.

“We’re determined to make this happen. Sure, we may have the Jets pick up the slack during the spring, but otherwise, don’t worry, Winnipeg pedestrians, we’ve got your back,” said quarterback Zach Collaros. “No need to use that underground walkway. We’ve got it covered!”

The Blue Bombers say that winning the Grey Cup every day of the year is a tall order, but with Demski and Harris on the roster there’s nothing to worry about.

“They’re Winnipeggers themselves, so they know how important opening up Portage and Main is to the community,” said Collaros. “And if they have to play in a championship game every single afternoon of their lives, then so be it.”

Mayor Brian Bowman approved the plan to have the Bombers win the Grey Cup every day, but said he’d only agree to open Portage and Main if the plan was approved by a vote of Winnipeggers from somewhere way out in the suburbs who cruise through the downtown area on their daily commutes.

(photo credit: Winnipeg Blue Bombers/CC)

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