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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

A Gallery of Hilarious Mennonite Gravestones

January 1, 2018 Andrew

One of the best ways to learn about your history and heritage is to take a walk through one of the local cemeteries. You may be shocked at what you find. Here are some of […]

Unger & Thirst

After Last Night Hanover Municipality Renamed ‘Hangover’

January 1, 2018 Andrew

HANGOVER, MB After a night in which dozens of Mennonite in the Hanover area drank copious amounts of Papsi and water, area residents have voted to rename the area ‘Hangover.’ “Ugh, after three Papsis and […]

Unger Conviction

Church New Year’s Eve Party Over By 8 PM

December 31, 2017 Andrew

OMAHA, NB Revellers at the Omaha Mennonite Church plan to ring in the New Year in the church basement tonight with hymn singing, board games, and Grandma Jansen’s onion dip. The festivities are scheduled to […]

Unger Conviction

Man Escapes Mennonite Section of Heaven, Shocked at What He Finds

December 30, 2017 Andrew

HEAVEN Mr. Abe Penner passed away in January 1968 and, for almost fifty years, had been living a quiet peaceful existence in the Mennonite section of Heaven, blissfully unaware of the vast expanse of Paradise […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Accidentally Sings Hymn 666

December 29, 2017 Andrew

NEUKRONSTHAL, AB A small town Mennonite church caused quite the uproar this past Sunday when the worship leader accidentally told parishioners to “turn in their hymnals to number 666.” “Waut de shissjat is this yet?” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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