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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Daredevil to Consume Pickles and Milk Together

October 28, 2018 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB Local man Joel Toews, 23, is known throughout Randolph (nee Chortitz) for his reckless abandon and death-defying stunts. But his most impressive stunt is yet to come as, this weekend, Joel will be […]

Unger Conviction

Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots

October 27, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In an effort to reduce lineups and assist the voting process, a local group is petitioning Steinbach to include each candidate’s church affiliation on all future ballots. “It’s the most important information there […]

Unger Conviction

Snopes.com Fact Checks Mennonite Pastor’s Sermon

October 26, 2018 Andrew

MEADE, KS According to leading fact-checking website Snopes.com, a sermon by our very own Pastor Dave has been found to be “FALSE.” “In his Oct. 21 sermon, three of Pastor Dave’s sermon illustrations were discovered […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers ‘Super Excited’ to Finally Have Some Sort of Prohibition Once Again

October 25, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After decades of being the only community in Manitoba to ban alcohol sales, Steinbach has felt a little out-of-sorts since the first liquor store opened in 2009. So, this October, as Canada legalized […]

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main Barricades to be Moved to Main and Brandt

October 24, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems that Steinbach has taken a cue from it’s larger neighbour to the north and has decided to barricade Main and Brandt and force pedestrians to cross the intersection through poorly-lit pathways […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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