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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

The Truth About Bert and Ernie Finally Revealed!

September 20, 2018 Andrew

SESAME STREET, KS After decades of rumours, the truth about Sesame Street residents Bert and Ernie has finally been revealed! In an exclusive interview with the Daily Bonnet, Ernie admitted what we had all been […]

Quizzes

Growing up Mennonite, what were you FORBIDDEN from doing?

September 19, 2018 Andrew

Mennonite homes are known for having a lot of rules…but not everyone’s rules were the same. From the list below, click on each activity that was NOT allowed, or at least seriously frowned upon, in […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Gamers Excited for Release of “Call of Duty: Morden Warfare”

September 18, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Video game players across the Pembina Valley have lined up outside local Walmarts and Giant Tigers this week for the release of ‘Call of Duty: Morden Warfare.’ “Jauma, I can’t wait to try […]

Unger & Thirst

Anti-Fracking Protestors Shut Down Schmaunt Fat Production

September 17, 2018 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Dozens of angry protestors showed up to La Crete City Hall this past week to protest the fracking of schmaunt fat. “Fracking is an unsafe method of schmaunt fat extraction,” said Billy […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Choir Reveals New Third Jersey

September 16, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Osterwick Old Colony Choir and Farmer Sausage Co-operative has revealed a new alternate jersey for the 2018-2019 season. The new jersey, which contains purple flowers rather than the regular blue or yellow, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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