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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor

August 29, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Deviating from the common practice of determining all leadership positions by the drawing of straws, the folks at West Linden Mennonite have decided to pick a new head honcho using a potato sack […]

The Daily Bonnet

Anabaptist Heroes to be Added to Mount Rushmore

August 27, 2018 Andrew

BLACK HILLS, SD Four new faces are set to be blasted into the rock at Mount Rushmore this fall. After a long consultation process, a committee has selected the names of Menno Simons, Conrad Grebel, Jakob […]

The Daily Bonnet

Residents Required to Display ‘Steinbach Driver’ Sign in Back Windshield

August 26, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Under a new local graduated licensing program, Steinbach drivers will now be required to display a sign in the back windshield of their vehicles as a warning to other drivers. Local officials say […]

Unger Suspicion

Morden Honours Local Star Loreena McKennitt with Totally Epic Corn Maze

August 25, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The city of Morden, Manitoba will be honouring its most famous export, celtic music sensation Loreena McKennitt, in the best way they know how, by building a corn maze in her honour. “Basically […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

August 24, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Rempels from over in Herschel drove into the city this week to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary in style by ordering the very cheapest items on the menu at Tony Roma’s. “Oba, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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