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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Custodian at Local Senior’s Home Can’t Get the Smell of Roll Kuchen Out of the Hallway

September 13, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The hallways at Menno Garden Manor still smell strongly of cooking oil after half a dozen women all decided to fry up some roll kuchen on the very same day. Mr. Pankratz, a […]

Unger Suspicion

Doug Ford Vows to Downsize Mennonite Elder Boards

September 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Ontario Premier Doug Ford says he plans in invoke the “notwithstanding clause” to defend his efforts to reduce the number of elders on local Mennonite church boards. “The elder boards in the Kitchener-Waterloo […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg’s Garbage Hill to Be Returned to its Former Glory

September 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg’s most famous former landfill, Garage Hill, will be returned to its former glory later this month after the landmark received a renewed surge in interest as of late. “It’s time we make […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Forgets to Remove Nikes Before Burning Them

September 10, 2018 Andrew

HENDERSON, NB Mr. Allan Janzen of Henderson is being treated for first degree burns this week after lighting his Nikes on fire while still wearing them. According to family members, Janzen was burning his shoes […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Survives Three Days and Three Nights in the Belly of a Red River Catfish

September 9, 2018 Andrew

LOCKPORT, MB Local man Jonah Neufeld, 35, of West Kildonan was out fishing at Lockport with his buddies Darrel Froese and Joel Peters this past weekend, when he was suddenly pulled into the Red River […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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