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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Young Mennonite Yells ‘OK Boomer’ During Pastor’s Sermon

November 14, 2019 Andrew

HUTCHINSON, KS Pastor Dave at South Hutchinson Mennonite was right in the middle of extolling the virtues of long dresses and suspenders, when Alexis Pankratz, 22, rolled her eyes and yelled “ok, boomer!” as loud […]

Unger Suspicion

Cal-gary Man Insists He’s from ‘Calgree’

November 13, 2019 Andrew

CAL-GARY, AB Local man and faithful Mennonite church attendee Jeremy Goerzen, 41, has lived in the Whitehorn neighbourhood of Northeast Cal-gary his entire life, yet for some strange reason he still insists on calling the […]

Unger Games

Rogers Demands Sincere-Looking Half-Hearted Apology from Don Cherry

November 12, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Executives at Rogers have had absolutely enough of Don Cherry’s controversial remarks and are demanding that the 85-year-old hockey commentator “meet them half-way” and give “like, you know, at least a sincere-looking half-hearted […]

Unger Conviction

Poppy and Peace Button Wage War for Space on Mennonite Man’s Lapel

November 11, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON For more than fifty years the vacant space on Mr. Funk’s lapel has been quiet and peaceful. Sadly, however, a war for territorial supremacy has recently broken out between a poppy and an […]

Unger Conviction

Fight Breaks Out for Church Pew on ‘Peace Sunday’

November 10, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK West Saskatoon Mennonite Church’s Peace Sunday service was interrupted right in the middle of the responsive reading after the Wiebes came in late and demanded a spot in a pew occupied by the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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