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Articles by Andrew

Quizzes

The Mennonite Literature Quiz!

April 19, 2020 Andrew

Hey, now, so I imagine you’ve all been doing a whole lot of reading since you’ve been locked up inside. Oma would be very disappointed to find out you’d been wasting all your time watching […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Birds Blissfully Unaware of Global Pandemic

April 18, 2020 Andrew

SPRINGSTEIN, MB More than a dozen robins and two crows congregated on Mrs. Loewen’s yard this week, seemingly blissfully unaware that anything unusual was going on. “I mean I guess Mrs. Loewen’s lawn looks a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Englisher So Hairy He’s Mistaken for a Mennonite

April 17, 2020 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE After not visiting a barber for more than two months, local graphic designer, Dylan Johnson, 23, of Henderson, Nebraska is being mistaken for a Mennonite everywhere he goes. “Oba yo, I’m glad to […]

Unger Games

New ‘Chief Medical Officer’ Trading Cards are Flying Off the Shelves

April 16, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB With no sports to watch at the moment, the provincial Chief Medical Officers have become the nation’s new idols, with children and adults alike enthusiastically following their every move. One local company has […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wears His Wife’s Düak A Bit Too Low

April 14, 2020 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Earl Fehr, 48, was sorting through the laundry the other day and found himself the perfect item to protect himself during his visits to the grocery store to buy toilet paper […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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