For Some Reason Worship Leader Just Can’t Seem to Worship the Lord Without His $4000 Taylor


A local worship leader walked off the stage at church this Sunday after he’d forgotten his Taylor dreadnought and someone offered a “totally inferior” replacement guitar.

“Ugh, it’s just not the same with a freakin’ Yamaha,” said 40-year-old goateed worship pastor Dylan. “I’m not even really sure it counts as worship if I’m not playing my four thousand dollar Taylor.”

Dylan tried to start ‘Ten Thousand Reasons’ on his replacement Yamaha, but stopped just after he got to “it’s a new day dawning.”

“Forget it! I’m out of here!” said Dylan, angrily tossing his capo at the bass player. “The spirit just doesn’t move to a Yamaha!”

For a moment, an audience member thought he had a solution and rushed to his car to get his Martin.

“But that didn’t put him in the mood to worship either,” said Martin-owner Patrick. “All he wanted to do was argue about which guitar was better.”

After Dylan stormed out of the auditorium, Associate Pastor Ron took over on his Gibson Hummingbird, but even that couldn’t convince the sad pathetic Taylor fanboy to re-enter.

(photo credit: CJ Sorg/CC)

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