MORDEN, MB There’s a reason why Mennonites drive nondescript vehicles – so they don’t get identified in the liquor store parking lot. Well, obviously Mr. Wiens did not consider all the implications of his decision […]
BRANDON, MB NHL commissioner Gary Bettman announced an expanded NHL playoff schedule that will include more than three thousand teams, including the Brandon Wheat Kings, Winkler Flyers, and Avangard Omsk. “After all the hardship we’ve […]
WINKLER, MB It was a peculiar combination, but Mrs. Doerksen managed to hold a Doerksen family BBQ this weekend even though she’d completely run out of hamburger buns. “Mench ekj saj, the hamburgers come in […]
ALTONA, MB Researchers at the University of Jantsied have spent the past two months solving the greatest challenge facing Mennonites these days: how to knack your zoat while wearing a face mask. Thanks to the […]
WASHINGTON, DC Observations into deep space have recently uncovered strong evidence that Mennonites are all living in a parallel universe where time runs backwards. “According to our studies, it seems that the Big Bang created […]
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