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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Makes Matching Outfits for the Entire Family

July 9, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mrs. Wall of Swift Current stopped by at the local fabric store this week and took home enough material to make the entire family matching outfits. “Na ya, these are going to […]

Unger Suspicion

Flat-Earther Cites Saskatchewan as Evidence

July 8, 2020 Andrew

MOOSE JAW, SK World-renowned flat-earther Mr. Fehr has taken to the Internet to expose the Flat Earth Society’s greatest bit of evidence yet: the Province of Saskatchewan. “I mean just look at it,” said Mr. […]

Unger & Thirst

Hash Brownie Recipe Discovered in Antique Mennonite Cookbook

July 6, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mennonite Recipes of Lancaster County is thought to be the oldest Swiss Mennonite cookbook in the world. Little was known about the content of the very first edition until now. Recently a rare […]

Unger Suspicion

Devout American Christians Gather to Enthusiastically Worship False Idol Today

July 4, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Millions of pious God-fearing Bible-believing Christians across America are gathering today to sing songs of glory, honour, and praise to the golden calf US flag and constitution. “It’s our most sacred holiday,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Consumes 4L of Ice Cream Just for the Pail

July 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Braun was so desperate for a fresh used ice cream pail that she downed four litres of Foremost chocolate ice cream in one epic evening. “I was looking at my collection of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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