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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Accidentally Speaks Plautdietsch on a Sunday

May 30, 2021 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Mr. Wiebe, 41, was so enraptured in a conversation after church this Sunday that he hardly even noticed he was speaking Plautdietsch rather than the Lord’s language of High German. “Oba, waut de […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Author Stays Covid Safe with Ingenious Stick and Pen Combo

May 28, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Unable to host any in-person book signings since his novel Once Removed was released, local author Andrew Unger has created an ingenious new invention that should solve the problem. “People will finally start […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pitcher Throws No-Hitter While High on Yerba Mate

May 27, 2021 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC It was fifty years ago today that Pieta Ens, rookie phenom for the Montreal Axpos, threw a complete game no-hitter while high on what many believe was yerba mate. “His demeanor was erratic, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Elect Peter Falk as New MP

May 26, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Continuing their longstanding tradition of electing Falks and Barkmans, residents of Steinbach have resoundingly decided to send Peter Falk to Ottawa. “We were happy with Ted, but when we heard we could get […]

The Daily Bonnet

Warman, Saskatchewan to be Renamed Peaceman

May 25, 2021 Andrew

PEACEMAN, SK City council of Warman, Saskatchewan has voted 4 -2 in favour of renaming the town Peaceman in honour of the town’s pacifist Mennonite community. “For decades our town’s been getting a bad wrap. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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