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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Supermarket Starts Selling Liquor to Convince Mennonites to Cover Their Faces

January 20, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Earlier this week Winkler’s favourite grocery store Seea Goot Mart added vodka and rum to store shelves in an effort to convince locals to cover their faces like they’re supposed to. “I guess […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Guesses Wordle in First Try

January 19, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Andrea Broesky, 59, of Leamington is known as an “early adopter” in Mennonite circles. She was the first one in Leamington to get a television (1985), VCR (1998), cell phone (2014), and now […]

Unger Games

Djokovic Teams Up With Oma Krahn for Mixed Doubles Tournament

January 18, 2022 Andrew

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA Just days after being booted out of Australia, deported tennis superstar Novak Djokovic has already selected a new partner for an upcoming mixed doubles tournament. “I met Oma Krahn in Hofnungschanzenhimmelsfeld, Manitoba while […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Orders Every Liquid on the Menu

January 17, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local woman Diane Schmidt, 66, of Calgary was at her neighbourhood Humpty’s on Sunday morning for what she thought was a simple cup of coffee but instead became the most impressive marathon of […]

Unger Games

Novak Djokovic Deported to Southern Manitoba

January 16, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Controversial tennis star Novak Djokovic was given a one-way ticket out of Australia this week and has selected a dairy farm south of Winkler as “the only place I really feel at home.” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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