The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

‘Reach for the Top’ Contestant Buzzes in 40 Years Too Late

June 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Audiences of the fast-paced high school quiz show ‘Reach for the Top’ have been waiting well over 40 years for contestant Earl Unger to buzz in with the correct answer to the question, […]

Unger & Thirst

BC to Decriminalize Up to 2.5 Grams of Borscht

June 7, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC As of July 1 this year, the government of British Columbia will decriminalize possession of up to 2.5 grams of cabbage borscht, so long as it’s for personal use. “Borscht is a health issue,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Denied Boarding for Carrying Two Ice Cream Pails of Jreewe

June 6, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Deirdre Giesbrecht was denied boarding of JantsiedJet Flight 606 this afternoon after her ice cream pails full of cracklings were declared a “liquid” and therefore not suitable for carry-on luggage. “Oba nay! […]

Unger & Thirst

New Reports Claims Children Just Faking It, Most Absolutely Love Broccoli and Brussels Sprouts

June 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new Health Canada study shows that kids have been fooling us the entire time. According to research, Canadian children report broccoli, brussels sprouts, and green peppers among their absolute favourite foods. “It […]

Unger Conviction

Area Church Declared “Apostate” for Not Being Big Enough Jerks

June 3, 2022 Andrew

GRUENHIMMELSCHANTZ, SK One local church has come under intense scrutiny, as of late, for being “insufficiently jerkish” for the rest of the churches in the area. “They’re apostates. We can no longer fellowship with folks […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 274 275 276 … 751 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’
    February 16, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman to Go Around Naked Now that Reitman’s is Closed
    January 16, 2024
  • Winnipeg Launches New Program to Care for Feral Mennonites
    January 9, 2024
  • Mennonite Teens Switch to Low German After Swearing Ban in Taber
    January 14, 2025
  • Local Old Colony Church Experiments with Overhead Projector
    April 19, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved