Mennonite Man Spends Two Hours Selecting Least Awkward Urinal


Altona man Pat Rempel, 47, spent more than two hours selecting the proper urinal position during a trip to a Winnipeg shopping mall this week.

“Okay, okay, Pat, you can do this,” he said, prepping for the public washroom adventure. “Let’s see now there are 6 urinals and two are against a wall. The one second from the left is occupied, so it would be wrong to stand right next to that man …”

Rempel stood nearby watching men come and go, all the while waiting for just the right opportunity to relieve himself.

“If it’s all empty, the best spot is on either end as there’s no chance of being surrounded on both sides by other pee-ers,” explained Rempel. “On the other hand, if there is someone in the middle urinal, it really throws off my calculations.”

After an hour-and-a-half of deliberation, Rempel managed to make his selection, just as his wife starting texting him to find out where he was.

“I don’t know what that man’s doing in there,” said Rempel’s wife Arlene. “Whatever it is, I just hope he flushes.”

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