Mennonite Woman Labelled a “Feminist” for Not Trailing 10 Feet Behind Her Husband at All Times


Mrs. Sarah Warkentin, 33, of Winkler made headlines this week after she was spotted standing right beside her husband as the couple exited their Dodge Caravan and, according to sources, stayed beside him all the way to the Walmart entrance, “and the whole time they were shopping.”

“Oba, see, this is what happens when you give them an inch, they take a mile,” said Mr. Fehr. “First they started trailing only five feet behind, then two feet, then soon the women are pushing the carts themselves or, worse yet, they’re hand-in-hand with their husbands.”

Mrs. Warkentin was repeatedly warned through the Walmart loudspeaker to back off a little bit and trail behind like she’s supposed to, but failed to heed the warnings.

“Isn’t there a spill on aisle 4 you should be cleaning up or something?” said Mrs. Warkentin as the Winkler Mennonite Vice Squad approached. “I’m comfortable with my proximity to my husband.”

Mrs. Warkentin has been accused of being a “feminist,” which ranks below apostate, heretic, and Lutheran as the worst possible label the Mennonite church can bestow.

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