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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Maxime Bernier Spotted Parachuting Above Winkler, Manitoba

May 8, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Maxime Bernier. Winkler residents had their eyes fixed on the skies this week, after hearing rumours that PPC leader Maxime Bernier would be parachuting into their […]

The Daily Bonnet

Pick-Up-and-Walk Crew Followed Closely By Toss-Your-Cigarette-Butts-Out-the-Window Crew

May 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every year, the community of Steinbach gathers together on a Saturday to pick up garbage and beautify the city. It’s called ‘Pick up and Walk’ and is quickly followed by an even more […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Installs Massive New Rug Under which to Sweep All Their Problems

May 6, 2023 Andrew

HIMMELSFELD, MB The good folks of Himmelsfeld, Manitoba unveiled a massive new rug this week, under which they intend to sweep all the town’s problems. If it’s large enough, that is. “We’ve been sweeping our […]

Unger Games

Steinbach Pistons to Face Blumenort Menno Knights

May 5, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB They had to call in the backup crew at Centennial Arena in Steinbach this week to scoop up all the zoat that was knacked during the Steinbach Pistons’ Turnbull Cup victory party. It […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finally Finds Some Suitable Olive Oil

May 4, 2023 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC As Aganetha Kliewer, 72, of Chilliwack wandered the aisles of the local grocery store this week she was very excited to discovery an olive oil that was seemingly made just for her: extra […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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