OTTAWA, ON A memo released by the PMO this week has finally provided a response to the hundreds of offers for intimate relations with the Prime Minister of Canada that have arisen over the past […]
YARROW, BC A Mennonite church in Yarrow, British Columbia has had to shutter its doors for the summer after they couldn’t find a single person willing to fold the bulletins or take Mrs. Driedger by […]
WINNIPEG, MB And they’re off! After consuming a hearty breakfast, racers gathered at the starting line this morning just outside the Fort Garry Hotel in Winnipeg. The Russlaender 100 will see the world’s top Mennonite […]
ELKHART, IN Students at Anabaptist Mennonite Theological Seminary in Elkhart have reported a significant reduction in diarrhea cases this semester after the local KFC kicked out the adjoining Taco Bell. “Quite frankly, it’s a relief,” […]
SOMEWHERE IN NORTHERN ONTARIO, ON In what has been described as the most nefarious plot in Mennonite history, two complete strangers on the Russlaender 100th Anniversary train trip across Canada have agreed to swap zwieback […]
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