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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Selects Taylor Swift to Take Home Best Picture at the Grammy’s Tonight

March 10, 2024 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA The stars are arriving in Hollywood tonight for the 96th annual Grammy Awards. For Mrs. Martens of Saskatoon, this means she’ll be frantically trying to fill out her ballot. “It’s hard to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Relieved to be Going Back to Celebrating Men for the Next 364 Days

March 9, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After a full 24 hours of celebrating the contributions of various women in his life, Mr. Doerksen of La Crete is relieved to be going back to normal life and celebrating men […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Drives 40 Minutes Out of Her Way to Go to the “Good” Thrift Store

March 8, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Despite protests from her husband who just didn’t understand, area woman Erin Stobbe drove nearly an hour from her inferior local thrift store to go to the “good one” in Altona. “Oba, my […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is

March 6, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Millions of Canadians have lined up outside of McDonalds restaurants this winter for the return of a sandwich they’ve been told is not nearly as bad as they remember. “Yikes, I lined up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Royal Watchers Accidentally Show Up at William Prince Concert

March 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The last time retired couple Tina and Jake Neufeld of Steinbach encountered royalty was more than fifty years ago when the Queen paid a visit to their hometown of Steinbach. Now in their […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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