The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Month: December 2023

Unger & Thirst

What do you call these things?

December 31, 2023 Andrew

They’re an annual tradition, something that brings Mennonites of all shapes and sizes together, but one thing we can’t agree on – just what do you call those golden balls of a New Year’s deliciousness? […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Just Realized that the Last Day of 2023 Will be ‘Eent Twee Dree Eent Twee Dree’

December 30, 2023 Andrew

SPANISH LOOKOUT, BELIZE Mennonites across the Internet were amazed this week when it dawned on them, via various memes, that the last day of 2023 will be eent twee dree eent twee dree. “Jauma, I […]

Unger & Thirst

New Law Requires Fruitcake to Come with List of All Previous Owners

December 29, 2023 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC A court in the Fraser Valley has just ruled that any gifting or sale of fruitcake must come with a complete list of previous owners. “When it comes to fruitcake,” said Judge Kroeker, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Stage Production of ‘The Nutcracker’ Without All the Dancing

December 28, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In what has been praised as the “most innovative” ballet production in almost a century, the Mennonite Nutcracker wowed a packed house in a North Kildonan EMB church basement this week. “I’ve never […]

Unger Suspicion

Counting Crows Launch New Fragrance ‘The Smell of Hospitals in Winter’

December 27, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA 90s rockers Counting Crows have finally released a fragrance befitting their 1996 hit song “A Long December.” “For almost 30 years, our fans have wondered about the ‘smell of hospitals in winter’ […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Sad Lonely Canadian Man Still Watching Hockey for Some Reason
    May 1, 2019
  • Mennonite Couple Devastated After Attempting Sunday Trip to Chick-fil-A and Hobby Lobby
    September 15, 2023
  • Couple Who Never Left Resort for Even a Second Claim to Have “Visited Mexico”
    April 4, 2025
  • Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?
    May 13, 2018
  • Horse Shit Cleared from City Streets and Moved Online
    August 24, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved