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Month: January 2023

Unger & Thirst

Rank these sausages

January 21, 2023 Andrew

Mennonite are known for their love of sausage. But what kind is the best? We know there is only one right answer here, but who knows, in an anonymous vote in the privacy of our […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Man Hospitalized After Dangerous Fall from Jets’ Bandwagon

January 20, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Paul Kroeker, 51, was rushed to the hospital last night after a dangerous fall off the Winnipeg Jets’ bandwagon. “Jets suck! Fire Hellebuyck! Jets suck!” yelled Kroeker, as paramedics loaded him […]

Unger Suspicion

Philadelphia Flyers Shore Up Blue Line By Signing Patriarch Kirill of Moscow

January 19, 2023 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA In a surprise move this afternoon, the Broad Street Bullies have inked Patriach Kirill of Moscow to play alongside Ivan Provorov and Gritty on the blue line. “We felt that young Provorov just […]

Unger & Thirst

Eggy Mennonite Dish Now a Luxury Item

January 18, 2023 Andrew

BOISSEVAIN, MB Long thought of as a quick cheap dish that even Uncle Harry could make, Mennonite scrambled eggs or “ruehrei” as its often called, is now sold exclusively at high end designer boutiques. “Egg […]

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Mennonites Demand Roll Kuchen at New Krispy Kreme Store

January 17, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The excitement is palpable in Winnipeg for the new Krispy Kreme store. One demographic will not be satisfied, however, until a few changes are made. “We can get a donut anywhere,” said Art […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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